That Ukulele Player in that Indie Band You've Probably Never Heard Of

Tonight was the first FYP party of the spring semester. It was STELLAR!! I really cannot imagine not having joined FYP. The people are all extremely unique and friendly and welcoming and helpful. What a spectacular group! To recall what I did tonight: I went over to Rachel's and Maryclaire's to pregame and then we showed up...I was in that corner for a while, where I talked to Peter and Alex and Emily and of course explained my costume. I then believe I proceeded to talk to many people. I met new people and older people. I'm STAGE MANAGER!! It's going to be hard but I'm going to make it work because I want to be more involved in FYP. Even without the theater part of the organization, I want to give my heart to it. It is hard to find things to pour my heart into, but I believe this is a truly worthy place to give my time. The people!

I don't want things to be awkward with Will and I really don't think they will be. I think I'm generally confused about dynamics of college relationships. Not RELATIONSHIPS, but friendships and meetings. I don't understand how people end up in relationships in college. I am challenged in this part of my life, but I do think that eventually it will all work out for the best. Hipster clothes! It was amazing!!

Melissa fell and hit her head, which was a drastically different occurrence at an FYP party, and I cannot say that I was okay with it. I don't know how I feel about it. I got in a weird funk after that that reminded me of being back in high school with those depression funks. Why do people risk so much? I'm not better than anyone else, I just suspect that I've been lucky. I do some stupid shit, but there have never been severe consequences. I cannot say the same for some of the people that I've been close to. Too many of my friends have gotten in trouble with the police. I'm beginning to think that I'm a practicing egoist. I look to what benefits myself. I do care about other people and I think that if I was put in a situation where it was one of my close friends in Melissa's position, I would stay whatever it was. OF COURSE I WOULD STAY!! I don't know why I thought I wouldn't. But I have realized that the flight is strong with me. I would run to numb the pain or the fear. I have faith in my legs, my body...my mind? Yes, I do think that I'm clever..really this is true. I'm done with tearing myself down. I'm enjoying life and experiencing new things, but I will try not to be stupid about it. STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS